What stood out to me the most about ageism in Cruikshank and Aronson’s readings was the impact that the medical system has on older adults. Specifically, hearing about patients with dementia not having their treatment options listened to was a saddening but honest depiction of what older people have to go through. In the class, we discussed autonomy on many occasions and how important it is to provide people with choices on how they want to age – successful aging is about what works for the person to feel the best they can through all life stages, and meeting people where they are at.

 In the podcast about the Memory Loss Tapes, it was disturbing to hear the nurses deny someone’s reality, rather than understanding that the patient would likely get irritated having what they see as their reality constantly shut down and argued against. I spoke to my grandmother the other day about the class and what it meant to me. She said that back in the day they really didn’t use the word “dementia” as much, and they used the word “senility.” She described how she is not scared of aging and accepts the reality of her chronic conditions, and how my grandfather has a tougher time accepting that he is no longer able to be as physically active due to his Parkinson’s. 

In Cruikshank’s novel Learning to Be Old she references The Crone by Barbara Walker, and how older women were called witches because of an ancient folktlore called the “Destructive Clone Mother” who could kill people through curses (Cruikshank, 2003 as quoted in Walker, 1985). Typically, it represented an old, grouchy woman who was seen as too economically disadvantaged to contribute to the workforce and the capitalist economy mindset. Anyone who had wrinkles, poor physical health, or other ideas rooted in ageism was seen as a witch. In Dovey’s article “What Old Age is Really Like,” she asks, “But why search for depictions of old age by the young when I should instead be seeking out narratives by natives of old age? I don’t mean the rich body of work by late-middle-aged authors, which tends to be more about the fear of aging than about the experience of old age itself?” (The New Yorker, 2015). People often make judgements about older adults rooted in ageism rather than seeking out insight from people who have lived their own reality of what old age is truly like.

The way we use language to describe older adulthood is integral to the way people frame the experience. Aronson states, “When people are defined by what they are not, we are in trouble (2019, chapter 5). People often use specific words to describe old age that is not true to who the person actually is and what their defining characteristics are. Why frame old age as what someone cannot do anymore rather than what they can do in the present? We encourage resiliency by using language that makes people feel empowered, not degraded. Going back to my analysis of the witch stereotype in Cruikshank’s text, people used language to bully people based on features that do not align with their own idea of what “old” means.

I took the aging practice course because I noticed the amount of elder abuse that can go on unnoticed, and I wanted to learn more about geriatrics framed in a positive way rather than something to be scared of. I feel as though I have learned a lot about systemic issues and facts I would not have known otherwise. The topic I find most difficult to deal with is definitely the prospect of what aging could look like for me as someone with chronic illnesses, and what the continuance of aging could look like very soon for my grandparents. I worry about the Parkinson’s diagnoses they both have and am afraid that by a certain time, they may not remember who I am. Specifically being trans along with that prospect is concerning. They are accepting even though they don’t fully “get it.” Thank you, Dr. P!