After reading Chapter 8 of Learning to Be Old by Cruikshank (2013) and Chapter 8 of Elderhood by Aronson (2019), I started to think about how often ageism shows up in everyday life and in the systems we work in. Both authors approach the issue differently but share the same message that ageism is harmful, deeply rooted, and affects how older adults see themselves and how others treat them. The example that made the greatest impact on me came from Aronson’s quote, “Geriatrics is to medicine as old age is to society.” That line really stuck with me because it shows how older adults are often overlooked or dismissed, even within the helping professions. It reminded me of one of my oldest Veterans, who has been homeless for more than eight years and has lost most of his short-term memory. Despite this, he tries to appear as if he’s aware of everything going on around him. He is very smart, loves his routine, and does everything possible to maintain independence. Reading both Aronson and Cruikshank helped me understand that this need to appear capable comes from years of being underestimated and from internalized messages that older people are weak or forgetful.
Cruikshank (2013) defines ageism and describes how it develops through stereotypes, appearance, and internalized beliefs. She talks about how our culture’s obsession with staying young can make people fear aging and deny their own growth. This connects directly to Dovey’s (2015) article, where she looks at aging through literature and storytelling. While Cruikshank highlights negative portrayals of aging as decline, Dovey offers a different perspective, showing aging as a process filled with wisdom, reflection, and continued creativity. I was actually reminded of this over the weekend when my cousin and I went out for her birthday and ended up talking with two older gentlemen at a bar. One of them assumed we were no older than twenty, which made me laugh since I’m almost thirty (December 10 😊). It reminded me how age stereotypes can go both ways. He mentioned that he’s often mistaken for being much younger than his actual age (61) and told me to appreciate it, live in the moment, and focus on the positive because every day isn’t promised. That moment reinforced Dovey’s point about aging being tied to reflection and wisdom it reminded me how older adults often carry perspective that helps others appreciate life more fully. Both authors made me realize how much stories whether in media, books, or everyday conversations shape our ideas about what it means to grow older.
Internalized ageism also stood out to me in all three readings. Cruikshank (2013) explains how older adults can absorb society’s negative beliefs and start to see themselves through that lens. I see this often in my work with Veterans who avoid asking for help because they don’t want to appear “old” or dependent. In Aronson’s (2019) stories, patients often minimize their struggles or act stronger than they feel because they’re afraid of being treated as fragile. Dovey (2015) touches on this, too, when older characters in literature struggle with reconciling who they are with how society views aging. These examples showed me how internalized ageism can limit a person’s ability to seek support and live fully.
Language is another theme that connects all three authors. Cruikshank (2013) talks about “elderspeak,” where people talk to older adults in a slow, overly sweet, or childlike way that can feel disrespectful. Aronson (2019) describes the “language of death,” where medical professionals talk about aging as if it’s a disease or a slow decline instead of a natural process. Both examples made me think about the power of words and how easy it is to reinforce ageism without realizing it. I’ve seen this in my own work when people speak to older Veterans in a patronizing tone, assuming they can’t understand or make choices for themselves. I try to correct this by being mindful of how I communicate and by letting them lead conversations about their care.
Originally I took this class because I wanted to broaden my horizon with dealing with elder adults and learning to advocate better for them; being that I use to often get frustrated while working with them. Being that I want to go into medical social work I know that being frustrated simply would not work. Now that I am taking this class and reading these authors has changed how I view aging, both personally and professionally. I didn’t expect to connect with aging practice as much as I have, but now I see it differently. The most difficult part for me is balancing empathy with frustration when older clients seem resistant to change. There are times I want them to do better for themselves, but Aronson (2019) helped me see that what looks like resistance often comes from years of being dismissed or unheard. Moving forward, I want to continue practicing patience, empathy, and respect for their pace and process. This course has also helped me stop fearing aging in my own life. I now see it as a journey of growth, wisdom, and continued evolution and honestly, I’m excited to get older, wiser, and still HOT!
Aronson, L. (2019). Elderhood: Redefining aging, transforming medicine, reimagining life. Bloomsbury.
Cruikshank, M. (2013). Learning to be old: Gender, culture, and aging (3rd ed.). Rowman & Littlefield.
Dovey, C. (2015, October 1). What old age is really like. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/what-old-age-is-really-like
Niya,
You did a great job on this post. You analyze the articles well and draw good connections between them, answering the questions required. Well done. And I think there is no question that you will get older, wiser and definitely always be HOT.
Dr P