1. In thinking about the readings in Cruikshank and Aronson, what discussion or example of ageism made the greatest impact on you?

Calling a senior “cute,” can be considered insulting, referring to something done or said that would not seem extraordinary coming from a “normal” person.  (Aronson, 2019)  She mentions the commercial or mechanistic value. (Id.) This makes me think of the commercial with the two senior ladies we thought were “cute” for Wendy’s hamburgers saying “Where’s the beef?”  (Wendy’s, 1984)  In that commercial two seniors are commenting on a tiny little patty of meat in a competitor’s sandwich, and the idea is that they can’t see well as it is, but they really can’t see that little patty.  The commercial campaign was hugely successful, but played on the challenges seniors faced every day, and that sarcasm made the ad memorable, and a meme of its time.

Of course in the discussion of the use of this particular word, I have thought about such a characterization in a positive way I think.  I may get an impression of someone as cute and fun, but I try to make sure I know that person well enough to appreciate all that they really are, and their value as a part of my community.  This makes me think of my friend Carol.    I have often loved working with her.  She is also known as the “Jr. High Drummer,” on Facebook.  I think she uses that description of herself because really, she has not changed much over the years, and music is her passion.  She is an incredible drummer, having likely more than 50 years at it.  She and I connect visually when I am conducting the band, and I enjoy her beautiful smile whenever we are performing.  She is cute in her own way and she owns it. She loves performing and loves the band.  She loves to tell dirty jokes and make us all laugh.  We all have great respect for Carol.  She is a part of the glue that keeps a 52 year old band moving along successfully.

I think the discussions about internalizing agism has made the most impact on me.  I am finding this phenomenon one that is affecting many in my own family, sisters, and my husband in unique ways.  I am happy to see people my age and older accepting their appearance and not stressing much about it.

Why did the example have an impact on you? What did it teach you about aging
practice?

I had never thought of the term “cute” as insulting, but I suppose it could be, minimizing the essence of all that a person is, and not just what they appear to be on the outside.  I know that Carol has been playing the drums now for probably 60 years, so I see her as very capable and essential to the culture and success of our community organization.  She is also a person who has served as a social worker in Atlanta, and she is a wonderful listener, and volunteer.  She is genuine and fun loving.
Challenging these terms is important as we go about our practice.  The danger of dehumanizing anyone can have disastrous effects but we can also fail to learn valuable lessons from a population that can teach us so much.

2. Cruikshank spends a great deal of time discussing the stereotypes of aging and she describes some classic literature examples.
   Cruikshank talks about many stories such as Cinderella, and the German folk stories which portray older women as mean, cranky, dangerous, old witches. (Cruikshank, 2013). In Dovey, she proposed that younger writers are sometimes led astray by stereotypes in literature and culture of the elderly as having a crazy mind, and being the terrifying antagonist, “the Farm” and with anti-heroine “The Iron Lady.”   (Dovey, 2015).

 

3.  Cruikshank discusses internalized ageism. Can you find an example of internalized ageism in Aronson and Dovey?

Cruikshank describes American culture attempting to eliminate aging altogether with every remedy under the sun.  There are countless ads for quick fixes that involve that “common” ingredient in your refrigerator or cabinet to cure neuropathy, or for the ringing in the ears that may lead to dementia, in addition to all the facelifting remedies, that they want to sell us because we must all be afraid of looking old.  In Dovey, she speaks of how society “moves the goalpost,” since she is not using the same terminology as an gerontologist may for the same effect, as people are not allowed to have a diversified approach to aging, but must be either progressing or declining, instead of just being.  The assumption that anyone must be doing either is very imposing and unfair.  The assumption is that we really do have complete control over aging, and that it has nothing to do with our environment or with genes.  On the contrary, the assumption is that we should be able to manipulate what has already happened for years, and simply make it go away as if that is the only acceptable outcome.

4. Language and the use of language is a critical part of continued ageism. Give an example from each of the readings. Have you seen or experienced this phenomenon in your life or your practice?

Some of the names from the list in one paragraph in Aaronson, I had heard of Goat, and Cougar, knowing they are meant as put downs.  These terms impose limits on a person as if they have no further social capital and should not expect to be romantically loved or desired.  I had not known that the term “Goat” was a guy who was interested in women and was meant to be derogatory in that people think and older man should not be seen as alluring or attractive to women.  Sexual interest does not just turn off after menopause, or for all men at certain age, but I think many younger people may think so.  I think this would also serve to limit the positive impact we can make as we work within communities. As I have aged, and been a member of various activity groups, I have seen senior men provide much enjoyment and companionship to women of the same age and younger.  I know American society fails to tell the true story of great relationships between seniors, and that it is easy to have the bias that a relationship might not work out or be fulfilling.  I have been learning through my experience with the group to let go of those biases and just listen and learn.

If yes, tell us how.  If no, how do you think you missed it?

I found I had been surprised when a younger and very attractive woman dated an older man, maybe because of my own previously held biases, and probably because of messages in media and on television.

5. Aronson discusses the reaction she gets when she says she is a geriatrician. Think about why you took this class (and if it was just to get a required elective, make something up).

I took this class because I am genuinely interested in working with seniors.  I have had a great experience doing so as a lay leader with my church and have a lot of respect for seniors and great memories stemming from time with my grandmother.

In thinking about your interest in aging practice, which of the issues raised in these readings do you find the most difficult?   

I find the issue of internalized agism a very sad phenomenon.  I see it in my own family.  I think I see it a lot in someone close to me, who refuses to spend time making friends in groups afraid to “be old,” if he hangs out with people his age and older.  I think it says a lot about a society that hammers away at us in every direction with shame about aging.

Why?  

Internalizing agism takes the joy out of being yourself.  Shame is a cancer.

How would you work to overcome this issue in your practice?  I would utilize the strengths method and seek to enrich a person’s experiences according to their interests.  Self-determination can go along way toward building joy.  Also, remembering blessings I think could help.  As I have aged, I am learning to use mindfulness and preferred activities to keep my mind renewed.  I think the renewal of mind is crucial, and a real battle we must fight.

References

Aronson, Louise, Elderhood: Redefining Aging, Transforming Medicine, Reimagining Life. Thorndike Press, a part of Gale, a Cengage Company, 2019. (pp. 136-191).

Cruikshank, M. (2013). Learning to be old: gender, culture, and aging. 3rd ed. Rowman & Littlefield.  (Chapter 8).

Dovey, Ceridwen. (2015, October 1). What old age is really like. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/what-old-age-is-really-like

Wendy’s. (1984, January 10). Where’s the beef? [Television commercial]. Dancer Fitzgerald Sample; United States: Various Networks.