Hi everyone, my name is Elaine.  I have lived in Georgia for almost 30 years and am originally from the north shore of Massachusetts. I have lived different places, with Hawaii being my favorite.  I love to swim and go to the ocean as much I can.  I have worked with children in early childhood education for many years.  I am growth-oriented, learning and unlearning many things. Being an older student, I have practices geared toward “aging comfortably,” while recognizing that I am at an age where things are changing and the future is mysterious.

I grew up in an older family. My parents were in their 40s and my sisters were teenagers when I was born, which was less usual for that time.  I had many older relatives, when 80 was not the new 60.  I remember how my Nana’s face changed when she did not have her teeth in and saw a lot of wispy, bent and stooped people with mobility issues.  Many relatives lived into their lates 80s and 90s and not comfortably. I experienced a lot of death at a young age and saw how quickly a broken hip could bring death.  I always have had friends of different ages and was especially close to my older friends.  I have lost friends increasingly, which is hard.  Some I have supported in their dying process, including my parents.  I have volunteered with different Hospice agencies and participated in Lifespan conversations.

Through this course, I hope to gain knowledge and insight, challenge my preconceptions of what it means to age, and understand how people experience this process across intersecting identities.  I hope to expand my compassion for the losses that come with age, such as mobility and personal autonomy, feeling undervalued and unseen within youth-oriented cultural norms, deaths of friends and loved ones, and changes in life circumstances such as moving, downsizing, and becoming more dependent on others.

Being older myself, I am sure there are some who may think of me as an older adult, especially if they are young.  I think of someone in their late 60s to early 80s as being in “older adulthood” or “later life.” I realize that when I try to describe my imaginings of these terms, it is based on my perceptions, which are feelings, rather than biological age, a fact.  For example, I know people who are in their 80s but seem much younger, because they are engaged in a variety of activities, have friends of different ages, and stay current with contemporary culture, art, and music.  I also know people in their 40s and 50s who feel “old,” stuck, and not forward thinking, more in line with stereotypes of aging.  However, even if you feel youthful, you are still in an aging body, with different limitations and needs that will increase to some capacity.

These experiences of aging are dependent on life circumstances, health, mobility, access to healthcare, privilege, genetics, temperament, racial identity, class, and other factors.  In general, I think of older adults as those who have survived physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges, and have seen many changes in their lifetime in terms of health, relationships, technology, politics, ethics, and cultural norms.  Hopefully, it would bring increased insight, care, and compassion toward others, and, not everyone is resourced with resilience, optimism, health, finances, and applied wisdom on the other side of loss and setbacks, and that is okay, too.

So much of the future is uncertain, on all levels. At my current age, I would consider myself an older adult in my 80s.  However, my envisioning of future, older me is very rooted in how I am now physically and my current capabilities.  I would like to see myself as current and stylish, active and mobile, learning and meaningfully participating in society, with good health and time to enjoy my family, and doing things that I like such as exercising, going to performances, traveling, being in nature, creating art, volunteering, and meeting new people.  However, I have no idea what I will be like in 20-40 years or what limiting factors might be at play.

I take supplements, exercise, take care of myself, watch my blood sugar, limit alcohol, do preventative protocols for brain health, take hormone replacements, learn new things for brain plasticity, but who can say if this is enough or will have impact?  What if I have a bad fall or an accident? A disease? Eventually we will have some type of disability as an outcome of aging.  I already have a hearing loss.  The political climate is uncertain and social security and Medicare seem tenuous, what if I have no income?  Right now, my future life feels like a fantasy or magical thinking.

I am particularly wary of dementia, which my mother and her mother had, though later in life.  Having had some accidents, injuries, and hyper-mobility, I worry about future mobility and the wear and tear on my joints.  These concern me because they bring more dependence on others for care and daily living activities.  It could mean being in a facility or not being able to move around on my own when I want.  I fear losing autonomy and independence.  Coming from an older family, all my immediate family have passed.  What if I outlive my husband and children?  What is my social safety net?

Being in middle age, I feel the uncertainty of the future and I am adjusting to that and doing what I can to take care of future me now without living in fear.