Looking back on my post from last week, I discussed being afraid of not being able to care for myself hygienically. For me, this means bathing, wiping after the restroom, brushing my teeth, and tending to my hair. This scares me to the core because I’ve always been very independent, even from a young age, taking on household chores independently at 7 or 8 years old. My mom stopped doing my hair and having basic hygiene conversations at age 10, leaving me to have to figure out those things on my own. I think this is where my fear stems from; if I had to live with someone doing all my hygiene care for me, I would slowly start to feel dead but still breathing. Physically, I would start declining since I wouldn’t be using much of my muscles and energy to care for myself. Emotionally, I would be extremely sad to have to lie there while someone bathes me, watching them slowly start to see me as a burden. Socially, I think everyone would start to forget about me and treat me like furniture when they came to see me. Financially, depending on whether I end up in a nursing home or with a family member caring for me, it’s going to cost. With losing the ability to care for yourself, the medicines, doctor visits, and other items needed to care for someone are expensive. I would continue to think about how burdensome I would be at that point in the first few months of me losing my ability.
Considering my ideal life as an old adult and my problematic situation, I think my situation would completely change that image I have in my head about aging gracefully. I wouldn’t be as active or cooking all the time, or hanging out with my family as much. I wouldn’t want to be social anymore or have a life even; it would ruin the way I interact with the world since I’m so active.
Looking at the CARA model, there are a few generalized resistance resources that may assist me in managing my problematic situation, like having conversations with family about this fear well before the problems occur, staying active and up to date with medical appointments, and making sure I make healthy financial decisions so when the time comes I won’t feel like a financial burden on my family. Resilience to me in this situation would look like allowing myself to be taken care of, not giving up on life just because someone has to care for me, and not closing myself off from my family.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352013221000843
Your point about resilience stood out to me because accepting help does not mean giving up, it can be part of adapting to changes while still maintaining a meaningful life. I also like how you were able to connect the CARA model to practical resources, like staying active, maintaining health, communicating with family etc.